Is He Really Into You?
A common issue faced by single women is meeting seemingly nice good looking guys you talk for a while but somehow everything fizzles out. Although there are diverse contributors to this dilemma but a key one is establishing the kind of guy you’re dealing with.
Let me bring it to the consciousness that as a single female ready for a relationship, you’re open to different types of men, whom for the sake of this writing I’ll refer to as ‘shoppers’. As a lady you represent a shop, in these shop are your products i.e. outward appearance as well as personality. There are mainly 4 types of shoppers, which includes:
The Window Shopper: The guy is essentially an actor; he gives the impression of a buyer acts like he wants what you are selling but he knows he’s not buying. He says all the right things, and makes all the right moves –The window shopper will try on things and make you believe is buying convincing you that he’s interested but once things starts getting serious, or at the point of commitment, he backs out – ‘I thought we were just having a good time’, ‘I am not ready for anything serious’, these are common with the Window Shopper. Any investment you make on the Window Shopper is likely to yield 0 returns.
The Casual Shopper: The casual shopper is a fun type of guy, who would buying from you but not only from you, he buys from different shops as well. With the casual shopper, you have lots of competition; which can make you feel special because it’s your turn to get the attention that other females yearn for but at same time you are constantly finding where you stand. The Casual shopper doesn’t have a specific thing he’s looking for; he’s likely to buy if the products are desirable to him simply because he can afford to.
The bargain hunter: This is the guy you would really like to buy from you and he catches on to that really quickly. He does not mind buying but only on the basis that you change your standards to suit him. He is the controlling sort of character, he demands a lot from you but unwilling to give much back. If you refuse to change your standards to suit him, he disappears into thin air.
The Buyer: This is the guy that knows specifically what he’s looking for. You know him by the passion and enthusiasm through which he speaks about his needs. He might go to different shops but he’s always in search for the same things. If the product he wants is unavailable, he’ll leave for the next store to find exactly same thing. He won’t go looking in places he knows he will not find what he’s looking for, and when he find her, it’s a wrap… the search is over!
As only a shopper really knows his motives for entering a shop, you can say the same for a man. So because a man talks to you, takes you out on a date, says sweet things, does sweet things does not mean he wants to be your man; he might just be looking around, his missus is out of town, he needs some new sex, some new mind to manipulate or he might actually be looking to settle down.
The interesting thing about these ‘shoppers’ is you cannot tell who they really are by their looks or appearance and being a ‘shop owner’ it is natural to give attention to prospective buyers because you don’t know who your ‘buyer’ is. It is only at the point of commitment you know who’s who. Many a times, once a female get a glimpse of their preconceived man, they start to invest into a non-existing relationship – I believe this is where many females are missing it; making a man your man before he asks to be your man, the end result of this can be quite fatal.
It is your responsibility as a woman to know your self-worth, separating your standards (needs) from your desires (wants). The problem today is many females have a fixed cost on their desires but their standard are negotiable; this sits well with a good number of men because working to constantly meet a certain level of standards requires focus, commitments and hard work.
Also it’s worth noting that because a ‘buyer’ enters your shop does not mean he will buy from you. Not necessarily because there’s anything wrong with you but it could be you’re not who or what he needs. So don’t go changing who you are, going against your principles to suit him… you will for a long time be looking over your shoulders. If he’s not buying into you and what you are selling, then let him walk, your own buyer will come in due time.
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Thanks for reading.