If the foundation be destroyed…

Not too long ago, I was reading an interesting parable in the bible about two builders – The first builder decided to build his house on a rock; after a while, the rain came down, streams rose and the winds blew and beat against the house, but it stood because the foundation was on the rock. The second builder built his house on the sand, when similar things happened to the house; it fell and was wiped away.

Relationships work with the same principle… The chances of having a lasting and happy relationship in the face of inevitable challenges are hugely dependent on the type of foundation the relationship is standing on.

You start laying the foundation for your relationship from the moment you and your prospective partner admit to one another your desires to have a relationship. The period of laying this foundation can be called the ‘Honeymoon’ period; a period where you are overwhelmed by the feelings and emotions that come with your new attraction, everything looks and feels bliss but as the saying goes ‘All good things come to an end’. After the honeymoon period, the newness will fade, some of the habits you didn’t pay attention to will all of a sudden become annoying; petty arguments will begin cropping up, as time goes on the rain, rising streams and wind will start beating against the relationship. It is what you have built during the honeymoon period that will later decide the future of the relationship.

Some get carried away by the feeling that comes with the honeymoon period and lay foundations based on that. Feelings attributed to attraction, chemistry and sex are variable and they to change from time to time. So when rain falls, and wind blows and beat against the relationship, feelings are not strong enough to keep the relationship standing so just like the house built on the sand, the relationship will fall apart and be wiped away.

Yes attraction and chemistry are essential in the mix of your foundation laying but to make it rock solid, you need to add friendship as well. Friendship offers quality communication, openness, trust, understanding, compatibility… these are the repair tools that stops your relationship from falling apart regardless of the storm or challenges it may face. The attraction, coupled with friendship will make your relationship magical.

It is essential to get the foundation right from the beginning because just as it is physically impossible to fix a foundation after a building has been placed upon it so it is with relationship after the foundation is laid. You either need to break down the relationship and rebuild your foundation or move somewhere new entirely. You can save yourself some real emotional stress if you just take the time to get things right in the first place.

So you have met someone amazing, what foundation are you building, is it just the looks that gets you or the fact that you can tell him anything? And if your foundation is solid, keep building your relationship until it gets to the highest height.

Thanks for reading.

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